


In Which the Avengers are Informed of a New PR Opportunity

by DoctorTrekLock



Series: AU-gust 2020 [28]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Gingerbread Houses, Phil Coulson is Appreciated, the Avengers need a good PR person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:00:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26170801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorTrekLock/pseuds/DoctorTrekLock
Summary: Phil had tried to stop it. He really had. But then Tony Stark had walked into Fury’s office with a smirk and a swagger and Phil had known he’d lost the war before they’d even started the battle.“You have all been volunteered for a PR event,” Phil told the Avengers, drawing from the deep well of patience he had been assured he had in order to keep his voice even.Judging by the way Clint’s mouth quirked, Phil wasn’t sure he’d entirely managed it.“I have been assured that you will all approach this opportunity with professionalism and dignity.” Which was such a lie. Phil wasn’t sure the Avengers had ever approached anything with professionalism and dignity.
Relationships: Avengers Team - Relationship
Series: AU-gust 2020 [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1870924
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	In Which the Avengers are Informed of a New PR Opportunity

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted August 28, 2020 on [Tumblr](https://doctortreklock.tumblr.com/post/627761372309127168/au-gust-28-fashion-models-au)

Phil had tried to stop it. He really had. But then Tony Stark had walked into Fury’s office with a smirk and a swagger and Phil had known he’d lost the war before they’d even started the battle.

“You have all been volunteered for a PR event,” Phil told the Avengers, drawing from the deep well of patience he had been assured he had in order to keep his voice even.

Judging by the way Clint’s mouth quirked, Phil wasn’t sure he’d entirely managed it.

“I have been assured that you will all approach this opportunity with professionalism and dignity.” Which was such a lie. Phil wasn’t sure the Avengers had ever approached anything with professionalism and dignity.

They were in the Avengers conference room in HQ, two floors down from the Director’s office. It had once been a generic SHIELD conference room, but by now no one else would touch it. The cleaners had done their best, but at a certain point, there was just no way to get that amount of soot, blood, or cookie crumbs out of the carpet.

“C’mon, Agent. I’m not sure you could sound more bored if you tried.” Stark’s aura of smugness was palpable as he reclined lazily in his chair. “You gotta really go for it, you know? Jazz it up a bit.”

Phil shot him an icy glare, but it didn’t look like it phased the man at all. “As I was saying. You have been drafted for a new public relations event this winter. Proceeds will be directed to the New York Relief Fund.” He shuffled his papers.

“If I may, sir, what exactly is it that we’re going to be doing?” Captain Rogers asked after the silence had stretched for a couple beats too long.

Phil put on his best blank face. “The Avengers will be fashioning edible scale models of homes to be sold at auction this December.”

There was a moment of confused silence as the team tried to digest that, but apparently Stark had hit the limit of his patience.

“Gingerbread houses!” he cackled. “We’re making gingerbread houses for charity!”

Phil had to try very hard to keep his expression from becoming a very pointed scowl. “Yes, thank you for your input,” he said coolly.

Thor perked up. “Gingerbread?” he boomed. “Jane has shared with me this gingeriest of breads! It is most delicious!”

“Really, sir? We’re making gingerbread houses?” Clint’s skepticism was almost as easy to read as his amusement.

“I haven’t seen a proper gingerbread house in years,” Rogers said, with an air of wistfulness that only appeared when he was talking about his pre-war years.

At his words, Phil could see the faint flicker in Natasha’s expression, the quickly submerged pain of Clint’s, and the flash of grief over Banner’s that he knew heralded the discoveries of yet more missing childhood experiences.

“Yes, Barton,” he said, drawing the room’s attention back to himself. “ _Someone_ \--” He pointed didn’t look at Stark _“--_ decided that the next step in currying positive public opinion was to trap the six of you in a kitchen together for eight hours with cookies, frosting, and candy and sell whatever emerges from the chaos afterwards.”

“Seven of us.”

Phil blinked and looked over at the inventor. “Excuse me?”

Stark’s gaze was clear and serious. “There are seven of us, Agent. Or can’t you count?”

Taken aback, Phil glanced around the room, but everyone else on the team seemed to be in agreement. He’d known that the Avengers had insisted on him taking the liaison position, but he’d figured it was more of a “devil you know” situation.

He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the slight lump there. “Very well, then.”

After a beat, Clint rolled to his feet. “This meeting over yet, Coulson? I gotta start scoping out the competition if I’m going to win Most Amazingest Gingerbread House Ever this year.”

After the moment of realization he’d just had, Phil’s glare was familiar and comfortable on his face, resettling into a well-worn conversational pattern. “Sit back down, Specialist.”

He looked around the room. “On our last mission, I seem to recall asking for minimal property damage and ending up with...” he rifled through his reports, even though he had the figures memorized “thirty-seven claims for destruction of a motor vehicle, four buildings that will require major structural repair to be habitable again, and one apartment building that’s going to be condemned, as it’s too precarious for the property inspector to even think about venturing inside.”

He folded his hands over his report and smiled pleasantly at the team, _his_ team. “Who would like to start?”


End file.
